


Underqualified

by Koriember



Series: Kiran, Summoner of Askr [4]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 08:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17076926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koriember/pseuds/Koriember
Summary: "I'm a hero in your eyes, sure. But in the mirror, all I see is the blood of comrades fallen, staining my hands. How can I possibly lead Askr to peace, when I can't even lead four soldiers without one getting torn apart!"





	Underqualified

"Kiran."

"Sure."

"Kee-ran."

"Sure."

"Kai-ran!"

"Sure."

"Ki-ran. Ki-ren?"

"Sure."

"Maybe Kei-ren. Ooh, that sounds better."

"Sure."

Three Askrans and a summoner lay in scattered positions across the newly-adopted room. Alfonse was gazing intently at a map across the wall, while Anna swiveled in a chair behind him, gold pieces piled meticulously in stacks of ten on a nearby desk.

Kiran sat in another chair, not quite as comfy as the swivel, but sat regardless. Not much was said as most of the summoner's focus was towards the paper atop the shared desk, ignoring at the moment the encroaching army of gold pieces. Hiding behind Kiran, Sharena lay on her back in a lounging manner, occupying the majority of Kiran's guest couch. Lazily, the princess of Askr stretched her arms, while her legs dangled off the armrest.

"Kai. Key? Kire? Like fire? What does it rhyme with? This search is becoming taxing..."

"You'll figure it out eventually," the newcomer goaded on, smiling as the quill was put down temporarily. "Is it an unusual name?"

Sharena shook her head, her radiant smile omnipresent.

"Oh, not at all! I quite like it. Lots of cool Heroes in the old texts have K's in their name.  _If_   _only_  you would tell us how to pronounce yours," she goaded on.

"It doesn't matter, Princess. You like your mysteries, don't you? I said it time and time again, I don't care at all how you pronounce it. "

"Kiran. Kee-ran. Hmm. Can't you just tell us how your folks at home do it?"

"To be honest," the summoner dodged, "I'm not sure how they would pronounce it either. It's an older name, uncommon and... well, etymology aside, it doesn't have much to do with my heritage. If you follow. My peers or superiors always somehow came up with new pronunciations every time they asked for me, and well... None of them have really stuck."

Sharena only returned an odd stare, while Alfonse halted his task and spoke in.

"I enjoy the occasional delve into linguistics," the prince admitted. "Though... wherever we pulled you from... I doubt our languages have the same roots. I can't say I recall any words in ancient Askran or Emblian that-"

"It means light. At least I think it does. In a language I have no idea how to begin with."

"Well-" Alfonse was quickly cut off by Sharena.

"That's not true at all Key-ran. I can barely pick you up and I'm  _not_  weak-"

"The  _other_  light, Princess," Kiran corrected, pointing at the sun rising out the window. "Rays of light. Beams. Strands. Sparkly."

Sharena made a face, covering it quickly with the pillow beside her.

Alfonse shook his head, without a smile.

"I'm still not weak," she added, through the pillow. "I can carry you just fine."

"Regardless," Kiran announced, putting down the quill again, this time sealing the inkwell too, "I'm just about finished."

Anna perked up, spinning back around to face the summoner and the princess, while Alfonse joined them after adjusting the map slightly.

"At last! Secrets of a new world. You know us Askrans like this stuff. So, what secrets can we glean from our hero?"

"She doesn't mean it like that," Sharena added in quickly. Kiran nodded, not phased by Anna's interesting mannerisms.

"I think I wrote down all I think was relevant. Sorry if I can't explain it very well."

"Nonsense," Alfonse dismissed. "I find it is easier to place thoughts on paper, and not through words. It provides you to think more clearly, more precisely."

"Yeah, our Prince is a total nerd," Anna added. "He knows plenty of weird stuff, and then some. You can tell from all the paper crumpled up in his many binders of notes. Notes, I use lightly. More like a stack of kindling for Askr's biggest bonfire."

"Much appreciated, Commander," Alfonse replied curtly, not bothered in the slightest. "Now, if we may, let's take a look?"

"Be my guest," Kiran waved, stepping back as the trio looked over the paper the summoner had just finished writing in.

Quickly, a frown beset Anna's face.

"Whoa, okay, there Kiran. First off, we are not  _primitive_ ," Anna grumbled, tempted to throw something at the smug summoner peeping over her shoulder. "I'm sorry we can't all fly and... and whatever. At least, not yet."

"Hey, you guys have animals that can do it for you. That's cool," Kiran admitted. "Dragons, wyverns. And flying horse thingies."

"Pegasi," Alfonse corrected quietly.

"Pegasuses," Sharena added. "It sounds cooler."

"It sounds wrong," Kiran laughed. "I know what a Pegasus is. I didn't know we shared words for those. We  _are_ talking about the same thing right? Horses with wings?"

"Not entirely anatomically correct, but yes, 'horses with wings' about defines it."

"But yet you don't have any in your world?" Sharena asked.

"Nope. Horses yes. Winged horses, no."

"How do you know what a Pegasus is if you don't have any?"

"Mythos, I guess. Ancient legends. I doubt they existed but it would be cool if they were real in my world. Would definitely take them over planes."

"Odd. I can't imagine flying without a beast. What's it like?"

"Boring, I guess. The noise drones on and on and you find yourself awake a couple hours later, still just as tired and twice as bored."

"Yikes. Surely it's better than that?"

"I exaggerate I guess. It gets repetitive after a while, or for very long flights. It's fast, but never quite fast enough..." Kiran trailed off, cloaked shoulders sagging slightly.

"Hmm? Feeling tired? It's still morning," Anna exclaimed, pointing outside.

"No, no, not that. It's... uh... about yesterday's drill. I wasn't quite fast enough either."

"Don't sweat it-" Sharena started, but Anna jumped in with gusto.

"Well, were it a real fight, Takumi would find himself with a lot more holes than he does now, that's for sure. Now that we're onto that subject, let's talk about that abomination of a defense you pulled off during-"

"Commander," Alfonse spoke in quickly.

Anna shut up promptly, but the damage was done. A frown crept onto Kiran's face, a grimace bleeding into a tired facade.

"True, I'd like to get better, but this... I'm not used to this. I'm not ready for this."

"I didn't mean it like that, Summoner," Anna apologized quickly, waving her hands frantically. "It's your first week on the job! You-"

"I wasn't a soldier before this. I don't even remember what I was doing. But war... it wasn't war. Not combat, not blood."

"Kiran, she spoke out of line," Alfonse stepped in. "Pay it no heed."

Anna backed up, a frown visible. But Kiran stood firm, though doubt crept onto a crestfallen brow.

"I should. I really should. If you guys trust me out there, that means your lives are in my hands. I don't think I'm ready to hold that much weight yet. I can't hold something that precious and risk losing it."

Sharena pursed her lips tightly, then quickly sprang up and gently put her hand around that coarse white cloak.

"We're a team, Kiran. Key-ren. Hmm. We have your back! And you have ours!"

"Ah. Heh."

The summoner laughed: a small genuine chuckle. Just enough to ease tight shoulders and stiff necks.

"Well, Princess Sha-ray-na, that's my job. At least, that's what the Commander thinks I should do. Do better."

"You'll do it just fine. Breidablik is on your hip for a reason. And yes, even stern old Anna'l support you. Never mind our doubts; there's a hero's heart beating under that cloak, I can feel it!" Anna encouraged, bolstering herself along with the fledgling tactician.

"I'll take your word for it Commander and... and... well, I'll do my best to catch up to you guys."

"Oh, I'm more of a front lines fighter. I'm not too keen on the big picture-stuff," Sharena explained. "You're better off catching up to the Commander. Or Alfy!"

"I'll do what I can, but the Order is growing by the second. I'll need my time with recruits. I'm afraid I won't have time for lessons like these, Kiran."

A pair of green and a pair of red eyes turned to a pair of blue.

A gulp.

"We have strategy books in the library. Quite a collection that I've grown quite fond of. Perhaps... P-perhaps w-we should go there after lunch, Kiran?"

Anna chuckled silently. There goes that tough exterior.

"Perhaps we should. I'm sure you could teach me a thing or two, Prince?"

"Oh- well, I'm sure my knowledge would come in useful for reinforcing your learning, yes..."

"Aw, Alfy, stop looking at the floor," Sharena goaded, prompting Alfonse to blush.

"I..."

"Don't worry about it, we don't have to. I can go by myself-"

"Excuse me," the prince attempted, stepping outside the room rather quickly.

"I take it he doesn't quite like me yet," Kiran grumbled. "Should I smile at him more?"

"Ah, don't worry about him. He's bad with strangers. He'll like you. I like you!"

"That's a given, but thank you Sharena- Princess!"

"Trust me, Kiran, the only one who cares about titles here is..." she turned to the redhead, not finishing her sentence for emphasis.

"Me. Ouch. When you put it like that, Princess," Anna frowned. "Well, I am a Commander, aren't I? Can't confuse me with any of my other sisters."

"Commander Anna has a lot of sisters. Also named Anna. I don't have a sister, but it's weird, isn't it?" Sharena questioned, both to Anna and Kiran.

"I can't say I knew anyone that shared names with their siblings, so..."

"See?" Anna waved wildly. " _Commander_! Ain't no other Commander Anna's out there, right? I hope."

"Me too. One's quite enough."

* * *

"Ah, t-there you are. Excuse me, I was hoping to f-find you here."

"Oh? Take a seat. Here, I'll move my-"

"No, it's alright. Allow me."

Alfonse sat across from Kiran, the candle in the library not quite bright enough to bring out their facial features. But enough to glimmer off their earnest eyes.

"..."

"..."

Kiran slowly turned a page.

"' _Battle drills for a tactical withdrawal,'"_ Alfonse read off of Kiran's notes. "I see you're taking yesterday's lessons in stride."

"Heh. I was figuring I could find a way to feint a retreat and force a counteroffensive, but with only 4 units, you're not giving me any way around it."

"You'll find a way. You've been absorbing our library like a sponge this last month. I'm rather pleased," Alfonse admitted, looking away slightly.

"Praise? Oh, Prince, I may yet swoon."

"Do take my words seriously, Kiran."

"I do, truly, I do. Thanks."

"You're quite welcome."

"..."

"..." Another page turn.

"You still don't like me, huh," Kiran randomly announced, out of the blue. Alfonse looked aback, but regained his composure quickly.

"What would drive you to say that?"

"Yesterday, at the Emblian Fortress. I ordered you to advance but you didn't want to get close to that rider. The one with the mask. Why?"

"He..." Alfonse sighed. "He's been plaguing my thoughts. It's nothing to do with you."

"Nonsense, I'm your tactician, for lack of a suitable title."

"It's personal. He reminds me of someone. Someone I lost."

"I... see. My apologies. Not everything is about me, after all. I forget that."

"Pay it no mind. You did your job admirably, and we defended Askr without a drop of our blood spilling. I was merely being a coward."

"Look, if there's anything I can do to get you to trust me, please, I can-"

"I trust you with my life, Summoner."

"Uh. Wow, okay."

"I mean, well, maybe that's not what I meant, but... Wait, that is what I meant! What was wrong with saying that?" Alfonse questioned, quite flustered beyond his normal character.

"W-well, that was sudden, that's all. It shouldn't be that sudden, right?"

The prince scowled, planting his forehead clean into the table in frustration.

"You know, sometimes you're just too casual. I'm trying to be serious and here you are cracking jokes at my expense."

"Shouldn't friends do stuff like that?"

Alfonse gulped silently.

"You are my tactician before anything but... yes. Friends... should do that."

"Sorry. Must be another cultural peculiarity from my world."

"..."

"Tell me I used peculiarity right. I'm pretty sure I'm pronouncing it-"

"What's it like?"

"H-huh? What's what?"

"Flying. You mentioned that your homeworld... that mankind has flight. Not from Pegasi or Wyvern but, well, without controlling anything."

"Bori-"

"No it's not. I saw your eyes shine the moment I mentioned it. I want to know what you felt."

Kiran's eyes closed, a smile forming.

"...When I was a kid, we went on a plane. My mom put me on her lap and I could see out the window, the world I knew shrinking and shrinking until the city I had lived in my whole life turned into something I could cover with my thumb. And then..."

Alfonse nodded, closing his eyes as well, begging silently for Kiran to continue.

"A-and," Kiran noticed, continuing, "Eventually, the air gets so thin up there, above the clouds. Your ears pop. As if you were diving deep below the ocean's surface, except well... the other way around. It bothered me immensely, but I didn't even care because well... it's hard to focus on anything when you're soaring on the surface of clouds."

"You were  _above_ the clouds," Alfonse muttered with wonder. "Could you touch them?"

"I'm afraid not. My mom said they wouldn't feel like cotton no matter how much they looked like it, but well. I'm sure you knew that."

"Vapor, condensed water suspended in the heavens above us. And yet you were above that. Above heaven."

"For a while, yes. In a big cage with hundreds of other people."

"I wouldn't see it like that. I see hundreds of shining eyes looking down, simply marvelous..."

"Perhaps it was. I guess it was," Kiran agreed with a happy sigh, a smile staying for a good while.

"You miss it."

"Every day. But this is my purpose now, Prince. I feel like I'm actually doing something."

"You are, Kiran. You are a hero."

"I'm not the one with the sword."

"I'm the sword, and you are the shield."

"Poetic."

"Stop it. I'm being serious. At least... I'm trying to. Ha."

Kiran looked upward, admiring how far the architecture tapered off in the space above them.

"...Think we're ready to face Veronica?"

"I'm certain. You've done all you could. We'll do the same."

"...I think I'm ready. It's coming down to the wire soon though. We can all see it. She's planning something big."

"That she is. I wouldn't be surprised."

"But before that, I need a favor. Just in case."

"Oh?"

"..."

Alfonse and Kiran sat there, silent for a while.

"...Hmm."

"What is it?" Alfonse asked, a bit too quiet.

"Askr has oceans, yes?" Kiran offered.

"Just rivers."

"Oh. No beaches?"

"A few, why?"

"You're coming with me, tomorrow morning before dawn. If I'm not awake, kick my door open."

"What? I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Well, don't you have fog in Askr?"

"Occasionally, why?"

"Well, that's the closest I can get to a cloud, right? Do we have any spare Pegasi in the stable?"

* * *

Kiran hummed an old tune, cold hands very careful with their work.

"Kiran, you in?" Anna asked from outside.

"Not quite," the summoner excused, putting down what was at hand and walking quietly to the door. "Need something?"

"Just you."

"Askr and you shall receive." Kiran joked dryly, opening the door with a blank face. Anna looked the summoner over, a scowl forming.

"Explain this," she ordered, waving her hand broadly.

"You look like you forgot how to laugh. C'mon, that was a good one," Kiran offered, not entirely convinced Anna was holding it in. But by the way her lips were pursed, maybe the joke fell flat. Or maybe...

"You are the very image of a mess," the Commander stated matter-of-factly.

"That's because I am," the Summoner answered equally, getting serious. "I... I'm not ready to go out. Can I talk to you later?"

"No," Anna sternly replied, walking inside and closing the door. "No."

A deep sigh from both of them. Kiran sat down on a skewed bed, atop wrinkled bedsheets. Anna remained standing.

"So? We did it. We did what we had to, didn't we? Surtr is dead. Nifl is... safe. Askr is fine and dandy."

"I know it is, thanks to you and the others that-"

Anna stopped herself.

"You can say it, you know. It's not a surprise anymore. Not a big one."

"...gave what they could," the Commander finished, slowly.

"They didn't have to," Kiran groaned, eyeing the object on the desk before peeling back to Anna. "We could've put him down the old-fashioned way. Just a good, honest regicide. No 'Rite' business... No sacrifices."

"You did what you had to, Summoner. So did she."

"..."

"You know you can tell me anything. I'm not one for gossip."

"I don't believe that at all."

"Fine then. I command you to tell me what's on your mind."

"...I can't do this, Anna," Kiran admitted softly, not bothering with rank. "I want to go home. I... I want her back and... I'm still not ready for this."

"Get up."

The summoner looked up slowly, too comatose to be stunned by the sudden change of tone.

Still, legs straightened, and Kiran once more stood a few inches taller than the Commander.

With reverence, Anna picked Leiptr, freshly polished, recently sharpened.

"I'll ignore your room. But this? You take good care of it."

"She took good care of me," Kiran replied, not missing a beat.

"Well I want you to bring that with you, and we're going to spar."

"You know I'm not the best person in a fight. Sharena for all her merits does not teach very well."

"That's besides the point. We're going to vent some steam. And by we, I mean me, while you burn out whatever is dulling those shining eyes of yours."

"O-okay, but you'll probably win."

"Probably? That's a certainty. Now come on then. Sharena is a horrible teacher. But Fjorm had to teach you  _something._ "

* * *

"So I know you like-liked her," Sharena began, not even bothering with tact.

"I like-liked her," Kiran affirmed, smiling a little.

"But I just had a weird idea. Don't look at me wrong but..."

"What?"

Sharena couldn't hide her smile, despite the circumstances.

"You know, they say King Lif and Queen Thrasir died thousands of years ago. And yet we just fought them. If, and a big if mind you, we are actually fighting the soldiers of Hel..."

"Soldiers of the dead... Wait, no..."

Gears clicked in Kiran's fear-ridden head.

"What? I'm just saying there's a chance you could see her again-"

"Princess, you are either the best friend ever or the worst. What could drive you to say that-"

"She's right you know," Eir joined in, gracefully walking along without even the slightest bounce in her step. "Hel is full of souls of the departed. It would make sense for your dearest to be here among us. On the other side, waiting."

"B-but..."

"What, you don't want to meet her again?" Sharena goaded, twirling Fensalir around. Kiran clutched Leiptr tightly, not entirely happy with this potential outcome.

"I'd be thrilled, what? But... She's going to attack us, isn't she? She wouldn't recognize us? Recognize me? She'll be too focused on killing us!"

"Most certainly," Eir replied. "She would be a soldier of Hel. Or even a captain, given her status."

"You'll just have to be ready for it. I dunno, remind her who you are!" Sharena piped in. "I mean, you  _are_ holding her spear. Hit her with it. Or something."

"You're the worst. I concede," Kiran laughed, waving Leiptr teasingly as if to ward off the princesses. "Now you're getting my hopes up."

"That's my job," Sharena giggled back. "Now it's yours to bring Fjorm back!"


End file.
